Monday, February 18, 2008

Happy Anniversary to My Husband in Heaven

Happy Anniversary Honey...

Today would have been our 16th wedding anniversary. We only had a chance to celebrate 11 years...almost made it to 12. We had such plans for our 15th anniversary. We were planning on renewing our the mountains, in the snow, in Gatlinburg, TN...where we spent most of our honeymoon. Well, last year I didn't even get out of bed the whole day...but in my mind I was in Gatlinburg with you and our family and special friends renewing our vows. When I closed my eyes I could see us standing there with our boys beside us as we told each other how much we loved each other. I pictured them looking at us and hoping to one day have a marriage like ours...

Well, today is/would have been 16 years for us Honey. I miss you with every breath I take...especially on days like this. I know I would have received roses at the door and a special card with a love letter just from you. You would have left me little messages all over the house...and in the you always did. But, I think you did leave me a message...and I thank you...and I love you...still...forever and for always.

Today as I reflect, the thing that stands out the most is the love that was felt on our wedding day. I never had any doubts. I was never so sure about something in my whole life. As I walked down the aisle to become your wife, there was not a doubt in my mind that we were meant to be. I remember us grabbing each others' hand and just holding on we gazed into each others eyes, we turned to face the preacher...and with a tug of the hand for each of if to say..."I love you and I'm so happy"...that's what our hands said to each other...and our hearts too. I just so vividy remember our hands grasping together...and we never let go of each other through the whole service. We were ONE even before our vows were spoken.
I remember the look on your face after we were married. You were so happy...and so was I. You told me you wanted to skip the reception and get right to the At the reception, as we slow danced, you wanted to leave and get to the We finally did get to the honeymoon!!!

Every year that passed I only loved you more. I never felt that way about anyone before. I couldn't wait to become your wife and I couldn't wait for each year to celebrate being your wife. As I look back today, there are tears that flow because we had so many dreams that were left unfulfilled, but I smile too because we did have 11 wonderful years together; you gave me two wonderful sons that when I look at them I see you. You also left me Jeffrey, who was your stepson, but he was your son. He reminds me of you so very much. He has your mannerisms and your thought process. So, you see, I do still have you here with me. I have all three of your sons here with me and when I miss you the most I can go to them and hug them and get a feeling of you because you run through them in their veins. I will forever be grateful for the treasures you left me.

I guess through all this jumbled up mess of a blog...what I am trying to say is that I Love You and I wish you a Happy Anniversary. I miss you and I loved being your was an honor...and I will see you again in Heaven. I know you will greet me with your arms wide open and we can celebrate then...until then my love...I will always love you...

Your Wife

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