Footprints

I had always loved the "Footprints" poem but it never meant more to me then it has over the past 4 years...especially on August 7 and 8th of 2003...and the many months that followed.

My husband of 12 years fell off a ladder on August 7th, 2003 and suffered massive brain injuries. On August 8th 2003 I had to make the decision to let the doctors remove him from life support. As I removed the wedding band from his swollen fingers; the wedding band that I had placed there 12 years earlier, tears streamed down my face and I felt like my whole life was shattered into pieces. The nurses wanted to remove his wedding band but I told them "No, I put it on him and I will be the one to remove it." I immediately placed it on a chain around my neck to keep him close to my heart.

My Darling Steven was gone...into God's loving arms. He was not mine to keep, but for God's to take and I was so thankful for the years that God lent him to me. I was blessed to be his wife and mother to his children. None the less, as much as I had/have faith in God, I was shattered to the core. "OUR" future dreams and plans were gone in an instant and I instantly became a single parent having to raise 3 young sons without their Daddy. My heart still breaks for them but that is another blog all in itself. It was during this time in my life that the poem "Footprints" was not just a poem, but it was my life in reality. There were so many minutes, hours, days and months that I literally leaned on God just to get through to the next breath that I took. People kept telling me how stong I was, but in reality, it was not me being strong, it was God carrying me every step of the way. They were not my footprints I was making during that time as my "new life" was being paved out in front of me, they were God's...as He held me in His loving arms and guided me ever so gently. There were times that I didn't think I would make it through my grief, and that is when I heard God's voice telling me that He would never let me down and would always be there for me...something I always knew but at this time in my life those words were loud and clear. Yes, He carried me in His loving arms and continues to do so because I still have days when I need to be carried. He is an Awesome God!!!